Romance and I...Sigh...

I'm at what is touted to be the most beautiful property in the world. In the evenings and at night, when the property is lit up, it's simply whisper- and sigh - worthy. Don't believe me? Check the pictures on the link above and you'll know what I mean.

But this isn't about how beautiful the property is. This is about what being on this property does to people.

As I was walking up to my room after dinner, strolling and sighing, I saw this couple, hand in hand, talking ever-so-softly, treading ever-so-gently and at one point they just stopped, the boy sank to his knee and before I could run over and 'help' or revive' him (! - hey, my intentions were good), with a flourish he took something in the palm of his hand and offered it to the pretty girl.

OMIGOD! I think my hand went to my mouth faster than did the girl's! OMIGOD OMIGOD...he's just proposed to her.

Felt a sting behind my eye (emotional fool, did i hear one of you hiss?), I turned around to leave them to their private moment and joy (I DO so hope she said yes) and ran smack! bang! into a gorgeous looking, blue-eyed TALL guy. He reached out to steady me, I almost swooned. He bent down to pick up my fallen key (what did you think, dirty minds?), looked at me and in a very tender voice said, "Sorry, I hope I didn't hurt you". His fingers brushed past mine while returning the key to me. I couldn't help, but smile at his angelic face. "No," I said, "I should be alright. But thanks for asking." And this, while I was seeing stars - not in the sky, but inside my head and around my eyes.

I took a step forward and the whole world started to move from the left to the right in circular slow motion. I reached a hand to steady myself and he caught hold. "Right then," he said as briskly as he could and all manly concern. "I'm dropping you to your room." I simply nodded.

He walked me to my room, a little further from his own. We talked a little. I asked after him, he wanted to know more about me - all in the span of the 4.5 minutes it took us from the 'Candle Room'. We reached my room, he paused. The key clicked and the LED went green. I turned around, reached up and kissed him.

He hesitated, I smiled. "Thanks." "Anytime." He turned to go away with a slight "goodnight...". I waited at the door, a half smile playing on my face...What a gentleman in this uncouth world...He turned back to look, our eyes met....

Now, now, as they say rather un-primly - don't get your panties in a bunch - I just waved him goodbye. I just kissed his cheek. And before you say, "Yeah RIGHT!", hang on - he's all of 15!

Tut Tut! What were you waiting for?

F(l)ailings of the Heart

Oh how the human heart likes to flail! Don't get me wrong, it smiles and laughs and beats faster too. But this one's about how it likes to...

...Flail - v., tr. - To wave or swing vigorously and violently; thrash

Don't get a phone call. Flail.

Don't get a promotion. Flail.

Don't have enough money to buy that Louis Vuitton bag? Flail.

Don't have enough time to spend with the one who's phone call finally came. Flail.

Somebody's friend's friend got a to-die-for job. Flail.

Where does the line between envy, greed and deep pain get blurred? The heart does not know. All it does is...flail.

Conceiving Misconceptions

How are misconceptions born?

When two people are thinking on parallel planes. When they haven't validated their thoughts.

When two people are not listening to each other. When they haven't even tried to be heard.

When one look with the glasses of disgust, ennui, irritation, pre-conceived decision is taken. When those glasses aren't taken off.

A split second of a perception, a longer duration of misconception.

And every minute, a million hearts are broken.

Decisions

The decisions that we take...sometimes I wonder, what drives us to them. I've heard so many people say - "Once I take a decision, I don't change it, I stick by it." And I always wonder...what if it's the wrong one? What if you find out one or two years down the line that this was the wrong one? Life would have moved on by then. And heaven forbid, if the decision is about people, then those people would have moved on by then!

I am always wondering about my decisions - some of them are driven by emotions. Some by circumstances, some by the sheer dint of anger. And a lot of times I wonder how things would have turned out if my decision were any different than the one I took. I take them I stand by them, but I definitely wonder about them.

Do you?

Endings and beginnings...

Why do we have more endings in life than beginnings?

More people die, than are born; more relationships end than begin; more parts of our heart break than are joined.

Why?

And then, whenever a relationship - friendship, relationship, love - ends, I feel like I'm rooted to the same spot and the world is rushing by me. Kind of like how they show in the movies - you're stuck, stunned and yet nothing stops. A part of me gets stuck to the spot even when I do finally move on after mourning and grieving and when I look back over my shoulder, I see a younger me standing there - forlorn, quiet, alone, sad.

I look back at myself quizzically and say - so what, it was just another ending...

Sundays

First one eye opened and then the other, a quick glance at the time on the screen and I sat up - bolt upright! 7:30 AM. God, I was going to be late for work.

And then, phew! It's only Sunday.

Ever been through this? Told me I had too much on my mind and even more on my plate. SO, I decided to take today easy. No work. The laptop would be switched on, but only for listening to music and to write.

And here I am. Writing after cooking my favorite dish of pasta, soaking lots of baby onions and green chillies in vinegar, and baking 'Iced Ginger' cookies (! yes i'm becoming domesticated !).

Nothing like this, then.

Sundays should be spent like this. Doing your own thing and watching the weather turn from sunny to wow-it's-going-to-rain-soon.

Happy Sunday!