Poliics, sholitics

Would you agree we have far too many politicians in this world creating far too much mayhem everywhere?

Would you agree we don't need more of them?

Well, then you would agree that friendship is a bloody bad place to play politics in. The results are still the same - for furthering one's own end, they play politics. They don't care who gets hurt in the bargain...it's all about [perceived] power. It's all about divide and rule. It's all about 'i'm no past my prime yet. DOn't ignore me for someone new'.

Aah, this world would be a much simpler place if we took relationships for what they were - an independent series of transactions between two people....even in a group of three. It is possible. I have been there, done that. When we introduce our friends to our other friends, we should allow them to have independent relationshps - that's what I've always believed and tried to practice too, to a large extent....i'd actually say for the most part. Sure, there are timkes when it feels like, 'hey, we were friends first', but then sanity takes hold, I shrug my shoulders and find my corner to sulk, before bounding back to the center of the room and hold court once again!

Ok, so I got carried away a little in the last bit, but hey, i'm sure you got my drift.

Thanks for the listening ear. Now you can go think in your corner and come back here if you'd like to add anythign!

Tucked Away In My Heart - Laughter

And the laughter. What laughter ….just thinking about it is making me smile.

He has this deep belly laugh. Sync that with his baritone and the combination is rich enough to make you forget your blues when he laughs. Pair that up with my roaring laughter and people would surely turn around to want to be part of something truly hilarious…even if we were laughing at some silly little private joke.

There was this one time (of the very few that we met) when we wanted coffee and went to a popular chain of coffee stores – mind you this is still a time when “drinking coffee” at “coffee bars” was a fashion statement and the very “with it” thing to do. So here’s this couple sitting there, - obviously us – and obviously moony about each other, and they’re talking away very prim and proper – nineteen to the dozen, obviously exploring each other’s thought processes and all that, till something catches the girl’s attention. She starts with a small giggle, the guy leans towards her and says something which has her snorting and then moving on into her “I’d like to shake the world with my mirth” kind of laughter. Seeing her, he starts to smile. Then she says something that tickles his funny bone and before people have had a chance to roll their eyes at the “unsavviness” of it all, they’re both in gales of laughter!

A few people smiled – that is what laughter is supposed to do – really – a few grimaced – ‘very impropah, I tell you’ – I almost heard them say – but I couldn’t care less, could I? I was laughing, with the man I loved….and mother of all, loved me right back….it showed in his eyes, it showed in his tenderness, it showed in his protectiveness, most of all, it showed – loud and bl*&^%$ clear – in his carefree laughter.

Masks...

n, a deceptive outward appearance, syn. cloak, color, coloring, cover, disguise, disguisement, facade, face, false colors, front, gloss, guise, masquerade, pretense, pretext, semblance, show, veil, veneer, window-dressing...

This one's been my nemesis for all my life. I wear my heart on my sleeve...err, face, and find it very difficult to see through when what a person is saying is not what they mean, when what they're showing as their "feelings", their "best intentions for you" are not as honest and sincere as they sound.

Did i just evoke an incredulous "what?!?", "come ON, you can't be that naive", "oh please", "helloooo, open your eyes", or even a stare with an imperceptible shake of the head and an inaudible tut-tut from you? Well, those are some of the normal reactions I get from people who remind me - sometimes subtly, sometimes not as gently - that I am a fool for getting taken in by people.

Either that, or the truth of the matter reveals itself a little later.

That's when it causes pain. Of an extremely excriciating kind. And not physical.

That's what I recently went through - as fresh as two days back.

This "friend" empathises with me when I speak to them and the feedback I get from another "friend" is, "XYZABC said they get exhausted." Then I meet the first "friend" at a social do and the looks exchanged are all-knowing, the rolled eyes are all compassion and the hug is all warmth. And me being me, I'm repelled by that smile.

I am still reeling from the enormity of it.

All my life, at different points, different people, the same pain... and I still haven't learned.

Have you?