Nonu, the pain is as raw today as it was then.
Today I was going through all my old mails in a bid to clean out my maibox - received and sent. I went through the journey you and I took before we went our ways - you to your destination and me, looking for mine. So many of those mails brought a smile - like the one we exchanged when I had a bad cold and had been sneezing all over and you'd replied with a "God Bless you, all over" :) Or even the one where you said "missy, thanks for the smart ass comments" and I'd replied 'you DID mean sexy ass comments, didn't you :D".
But then, the ones toward the end...especally the one after you'd disconnected a call saying "you've got to be kidding me". No I wasn't. It had taken a lot of internal turmoil for me to make that call to you, but you were wrapped up in the coziness of a new marriage, to make out the catch and the tremble in my voice...you who could over a long distance call make out the faintest lilt in my voice could now not hear the screaming tremble in my whisper while in the same town. The mail I wrote to you then still scalded the wound I thought had healed.
I know what you're thinking (whichever way - rolled eyes or with a wistful sigh) Bachcha,move on. I thought I had too, but today makes me question that. The pangs are just as strong. Strong enough to bring tears to my eyes.I thought these were all done and dealt with.
What do I do now? I was safe in my coccoon,wrapped in the gossamer of self-belief and quietly buried love. Today I find the shell breached and that a tiny grain of sand is whipping up a teary storm inside.
Will the pain form a pearl? I don't know.
What I do know is I bleed and the pain - it stays - tucked away in a small part of my heart.
Waiting...
-
*I* waited
as the days turned to naught
a slant of light
falling on me, taunting me
or was it a caress of love?
9 years ago
11 comments:
Very, very heartfelt and quite melancholic in places! Can feel that pain. Unless you've experienced it, you cannot write this expressively! I was truly moved.
Good blog and some good poetry there. Will visit again.
Remember, one heartbreak isn't the end of the world...probably you were made for something better and more special.
Peace.
Take care and cheers!
Sandeep
Thank you, Sandeep :)
Do i know you from somewhere? Coz this was meant to be an absolutely private blog (yeah, i know how that can be an oxymoron :D) and only very very few people know about it.
So, where do I know you from?
Hey thanks Shaluu!
Well, I definitely don't know you from before. I think I was googling for sad/melancholic love poetry and your blog came up in the search results. I read a couple of poems you wrote and I liked what I read.
But if you must know about me, I work for a large IT company. I'm into User experience and communication.
Hmmm...now i'm wondering why you were looking for sad, melancholic poetry?!? And thanks for letting me know that this blog still does appear in searches :(
How can i get to read what you write?
>>i'm wondering why you were looking for sad, melancholic poetry?!?
Umm..maybe because even I'm recovering from a heartbreak? :)
Well, I run a blog too but haven't updated it for ages. Lemme know if you're interested to read it. It's fairly boring.
Oh! I can promise you though, reading sad poetry won't help get over it. unless this is a time dedicated to grieving.
If you want to get over it, read something light, funny, or completely unrelated to romance, relationships and so on. read my other blog - swirling thoughts n stuff :)
and yes, as long it's not a tech-related blog, i'd like to read it.
Who do you work with?
True. Very perceptive. I was partially kidding, though. I'm over it long ago. But even otherwise I read melancholic/deep-feeling stuff because I've discovered it brings out the best in my writing. It sounds weird, I know :-)
No, it's not a tech blog (yes, I hate them equally). Here you go: http://onwritingwell.net/
I'm with a company called Cisco.
Oh! y'all are my cleints! well, ok, my company's clients.
I shall read your blog soon as I can and give my verdict on whether you hit the nail on the head when you said it's boring or not! :)
Oh really? What do u do?
I shall await your verdict then :-)
Hello,
Thanks a ton for all those comments on my blog. I'm sorry I was kinda away moping. Saw your comments just today.
Will respond later.
Warm regards,
Sandeep
(http://onwritingwell.net)
Post a Comment